Monday, February 27, 2012

Things we love lately....

In no particular order.

Sorbet
The Hunger Games series
Jello
Sparkling fruit juice
Chicken noodle soup
Revenge
Red Box
Sweatpants
Banana nut Cheerios
Golf on tv
Lin-sanity
Our own bed
New IPad games
Sour Patch Kids
Bethenny Ever After
FaceTime
Our fireplace
Apple Anti-bacterial
UNO
Any kind of berry
Each other

Okay well maybe some of the things above are items I only love and am trying to persuade (force) B to love as well but I do know one thing is for sure; I try to tell him I love him at least 100x's a day (& vice versa too:)

Monday, February 20, 2012

A Sister's Perspective

Some may call it writers block, I'm just calling it a change up. This week our guest bloggers are Lindsay and Kelsey, Brandon's sisters. My focus and energy has 100% been on Brandon and I sometimes forget how this is effecting our family members around us. Having so many siblings between the two of us is truly a blessing. We have constant support and help 24/7. So thank you Laura, Mike, Tony, Meg, Liz, Bryan, Peter, Laura, Katie, Ed, Lindsay, Alistair, and Kelsey, you are our rocks.

Lindsay .......
When I found out my brother, Brandon, had cancer I was sitting at home anxiously awaiting the text of the results. I had a gut feeling it was indeed cancer considering the doctors were 70% sure but i kept telling myself this cant be. A single word text came through to me as soon as they found out..."malignant" and from that moment on everything changed. The strange thing though is that while my world and our family’s world came crashing down at that moment, I didnt for a second think this was something he couldn't beat. Despite the flood of tears running down my cheeks I knew i had to be strong for not only him but for our family. Staying positive and spending every free moment over at my Brothers to keep his mind off of the diagnosis became my main focus. I knew Brener & Carter could always make him smile so we spent every night over there for the days thereafter till a course of action was decided upon. I just kept telling myself that everything is going to be ok...it had to be.
Despite staying positive, the mind has a horrible way of telling you otherwise but I didn't lose focus. Of course my emotions got the best of me at times, I had breakdowns, I lost sleep, I couldn't eat, I felt numb, afraid, angry and above all a bit selfish. How could i feel this bad when this isn't even happening to me. Im not the one with the disease, my brother is, I cant imagine what he must be feeling? Then comes the thought of am I next? is this something I need to be tested for? From a family with little history of health problems to all of a sudden having a sibling with cancer just frightened me to death. I have 2 small boys they need their mommy. I couldn't let my fears get the best of me I had to take care of myself or what good would I be to not only my own family but my entire family. When the cycle of hospital trips and chemotherapy started is when reality set in. The port could been seen in my brother's chest, his normally charismatic demeanor faded, his hair began to fall out as well as his eyelashes, and his energy depleted. I think that is the part that hurts me the most is seeing him in that frail state and knowing that this is something you can't fix. How can something so good be so bad, this is chemo. Despite the harshness of these drugs Brandon took them very well. His body responded well and things are looking good all the more to fuel the fight.
Although my life has been somewhat turned upside down there is a good that can come out of this..wait good out of cancer? I think so I can honestly say it has certainly brought out a great warmth for helping others. My empathy and compassion seem to grow with the crisis. I think in the end our entire family will benefited from the stressful experience in many ways and above all will strengthen the family closeness. LOSING THE BATTLE IS NOT AN OPTION.

Kelsey......
I had just flown home from San Diego and was on my way down to Camp for the day. I heard mom ask B if his leg was okay today, as curious as I was I had to ask B what was going on. He said his leg was bothering him and he was going to Suhey to get it checked out. Okay, we are an active family we all have aches and pains from sports injuries, we push through them but a pain that is still there for awhile is worth checking out. No idea as to what was coming next.
70% chance cancer…. But 30% not. Cue the annoying Jeopardy music.
I was with Lindsay over at her place when she got a text from Brandon and Sam saying that the doctor called and it was Cancer. I jumped in the car and rushed over to their place to be with them. I just remember sitting there eyes full of tears not knowing what to say to my Brother. There was nothing I could say. I just knew deep down that it was going to be okay, but how do you say that?
Everything will be okay… But right now its not! Its scary and its okay to be scared but it CANCER. The most feared condition that you don’t want someone close to you to go through let alone your Brother. There were tons of tears, little sleep, no appetite, and the little things didn’t matter, I just wanted my brother to be okay. But what did it matter what I was feeling? What was my brother feeling? I think that was the hardest thing to try to comprehend and I probably never will. He was going to be going through the treatments, his life was being swept from under his feet. I just knew I had to just be strong for him.
The whole waiting game was the worst. When were the treatments starting? Did he need surgery? A ton of questions and it felt like a year to hear what the hell was happening.
When B left for his first treatment I wanted to be as strong as possible for him I didn’t want him to think we were scared for him. I failed at that, but I hugged him and told him I loved him and it was going to be okay.
The waiting was over B was getting treatment and going to Florida to “relax”. Even though this is one treatment and there were more to come, he was being taken care of.
As I look back to all the feeling and thoughts, Brandon’s life has changed but it’s a bump in the road and he is dealing with the cards he is being dealt. He has kicked every treatments ass. Even though I have not been there physically I have heard he is doing awesome.
My eyes and my families eyes were opened real wide and I think in the long run after Brandon beats this it will have made us stronger, especially Brandon and Sam.
My Little note to B:
You’re in my thoughts everyday B. You are an extremely loved person and I am so proud that I am your sister. Everyone is Park City is thinking of you and wishing you well.
March 28- Good luck in Surgery! Love and Miss You
"Believe deep down in your heart that you're destined to do great things." -JoePa
Had throw some JoePa advice to ya… He was apart of making the person you are today. A FIGHTER!!!

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

My Momma said there would be days like this...

Is it the weekend or better yet, is it October? We went into this week with a positive outlook and things just did not pan out as hoped.

5am Monday morning I woke up with a stomach bug. As most of you know germs and Brandon/whole Penn oncology unit do not mix. So Becky and Brandon headed off to treatment. I transferred myself and a bucket of ice chips over to Becky's room so I would not infect our suite. Brandon getting sick would result in him being hooked up to fluids for an extra 2 days. That is the last thing we wanted, so Becky was left to taking care of the both of us. I pretty much felt awful that I couldn't be there with Brandon while he got pumped with the neon yellow superhero liquid. (aka Methotrexate) but understood it was for the best. Brandon's treatments are pretty standard now. The only thing that seems to vary are the side effects, did you know there are pages of side effects for all these cancer drugs? There is ringing of the ears, sore throat, side pains, nose bleeds, extreme fatigue, etc etc and Brandon never knows which he'll wake up with for the day. So for right now that is our biggest struggle. We just go to bed every day believing the next day will be better.

Big thanks Becky for taking care of us this week. She told me that is what Mom's are for and I'm pretty sure Brandon and I have the 2 best moms in the world.

Ending on a positive note, cycle 2 is over, GO BRANDON!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Happy Valentine's Day XOXO

Brandon and I are spending our 7th Valentine's day together in the Sofitel watching movies, playing UNO, and drinking Gatorade :) Cycle 2 is over! Much love xoxo

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Goodnight Moon

In bed at 8pm, most likely asleep by 9pm, new record in the Ream household? Definitely on Brandon's part. Seems like this cycle B has taken a toll on B's energy, so lots of naps and rest seem to be the answer.

Not really sure if I am blogging too much or not enough, new to the whole blog world. Many of you have been asking me to blog more, so here is my attempt. You may be reading some random posts but doing this has helped us and hopefully helping all of you stay connected to Brandon. Just another thank you to everyone for the continuous cards, emails, texts, messages etc. Trust me they do not go unnoticed and bring many smiles to our day. We are very blessed.

Much Love,
B&S

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

I've seen better days

Hello from Philly-
Currently finishing up in Cycle 2b. We tried to stay in State College as long as possible on Sunday, spending time eating and watching the Superbowl at Gary and Becky's house, finally around the 3rd quarter we decided we better begin our trek back to Philly. Needless to say it was a late night and we were pretty tired for our 8:30am Monday appointment. Our talk with Dr. Staddon and Laetitia was very positive; Brandon's counts looked good, we found out we could leave Philly a day early this week, and we discussed our game plan for the next few weeks. All in all that was a positive point in the day.
I would be lying if I said each visit gets easier. Although we have this drill down pat and we are very lucky to have amazing medical care and support team, mentally some days are better than others. Anxiety and stress can get the best of the most positive people sometimes. Maybe it's the fact Brandon knew he'd be in that chair 2 more Mondays in a row or maybe it's that spending 8 hours in an oncology unit can't be fun for anyone, who knows? But, yesterday we were mentally drained. On a more positive note Brandon felt pretty decent & we were much happier once we were nice and comfortable back at the Sofitel. Our favorite homecare nurse, Meredith, came and hooked Brandon up to fluids and he ate a full dinner. My good friend and college teammate, Kara, came down to the Sofitel and had dinner with Becky and I. So after a long day, our night ended pretty well.
We are taking each day in stride, Brandon has bloodwork at Penn throughout this week and we look forward to having a relaxing weekend at home, before repeating this exact same process next week.

Much Love-
B&S

Friday, February 3, 2012

Back to life, Back to reality

Greetings from Happy Valley. I lie here at 9pm on Friday night, about to watch 20/20 and Brandon is sound asleep next to me. Wow, how the times have changed. I can't help but remember that 7 years ago on a Friday night Brandon and I would probably be on the Blue Loop heading downtown to The Lion's Den. Our lives have taken a complete 360 and it seems like it happened in seconds. Can it be that something that came on so sudden change us forever? ....Absolutely, I truly believe Brandon will come out of this smarter, stronger, and healthier than ever. Heck, he may even get curly hair out of it. (he'll hate that, but I'm secretly excited) So instead of dreading the oncoming change we are dealing with it and embracing it, together.

We are currently mentally and physically preparing this weekend for another treatment next week. He's got this.